Gloomy 08

Death affects us in many ways..

Sometimes it makes u want to jump over the cliff

Sometimes it makes u a stronger and better person

Sometimes it makes u question about the 'unfairness' of life

Sometimes it makes u scared, lost and feel very unfortunate

Sometimes it makes u relief and grateful

Sometimes it makes u crazy..

and even

Sometimes it makes u wonder who's next?

is it going to be me?

Gay 08

It's May and Nz Gay month is.. back!
Dunno wot's behind all these but just hope there arent gonna be any nude parade..again
some things are just better left undisplayed.

Anyways, congratulation to Wellington for being the NEW GAY CAPITAL (After all these years it has always been auckland and thanks for the wider supports and acceptances down under, gay ppl can now move on to a new environment.)

Smile 08

Get over it Woman!

This is what tickle me to my spine lately. A woman who is nothing better than any of us trying to compete with this 'another female', in a helpless hope of filling in this 'another female' spot. So, in order to get a better understanding of this story in words..Lets call this idiotic woman J and this 'another female' M.
Telling the truth, not many people seems to favour this J woman. The reasons behind this delightful dislikeness is because J's facial features has always been a 1-cent potrait. It is SO cheap that people tend to use it as their shit-hole wiper (in exchange to even more expensive toilet paper). Unfortunately to J, people around her has always describe her as this scary, gruesome cave woman. Not forgetting an ass kisser too(No wonder she's more popular than the toilet paper. kissing service on a butt, who wouldnt want that!). Anyways, J has no mission in life. She wants what others have, but it has never occur to her that she is nothing better nor equal than the others.
One of zillionz blunders that i know (so far)is that J is copying M actions to get to M's lover. Well M and I has been good friends for ages. It was so funny when she told me just how J made a fool out of herself by putting 3-inch make up on her grumpy face just to compete with M * Mind u she put on a make up of 3 tones lighter than her original dark skin, calling M's lover by a cheeky nickname including the nickname that M had for her lover, gave M's lover the exact same present that she had first given him on their first anniversary and a lot more. the only reason why M's lover still treat her nicely is because she is a good work slave. u give her job and she'll do it. but a crazy person like her wont notice this because she choose what she want to see and she lives in a dream where she herself is a director.

My advice to people like J: Yo Girl! kiss ya own shit! Get over it! Don't steal the life of a person that u arent capable to handle. Go out there and discover the open options yourself. and PUT A BLOODY DAMN SMILE on your face, monster!!

P/s: i know some of u might get offended by the words i use. i got that all the times.. But this is how i channel my anger emotion into writings. When u got something to let go, u let go. what happens to M, happens to me.. and i enjoy watching these kind of people go down as much people that i respect obtain their success. :)

Autumn 08'

The temperature is certainly dropping in a drastic manner. 2 days back it was 17C n today it becomes 7C MAX. Rain drops are indeed our new and annoying guests in Christchurch. They take their time lingering and 'chill'ing on our land and leaving back messy earth puddles and damped streets as a 'thank you' note for accepting their long, grueling stay.

Well, you are welcome! (NOT!!! NOT!!! NOT IN A MILLION YEARS!! U UGLY FRAT DROPS!)

It broke my heart to see my high spirit shattered to the ground. pieces by pieces were stomped, kicked and stepped on by passer-bys. u know wot i'm talking about. the spirit that u rebuild during the holidays, the oath that u make to urself, the changes that u expect in return... still no idea? u think i'm a pointless blogger?? seriously!
u know at one stage, after u put ur mind at rest, u would realize that u are actually unclear with something (in this case, the whole subjects of this semmester) so u then come up with a plan- to bring out something better in the future. (in this case *again*, attend all classes, do the weekly homeworks, study 3x). However, in this weather, everything seems impossible!
For example, the other day i felt like the duvet and me are like 'stamp and envelope'. we are glued to one another. if u wanna take me away, u have to take the duvet too or the duvet has to be apart of my clothes to school! i was mesmerized with the idea, then i fell back to sleep. It took quite awhile to actually shift my big fat ass off the bed. when that finally happened, my mood was vile and unpleasant.
The concept i'm trying to point out in this blog is :
"Dont disturb a sheep under its big fat wool" :)

stressful 2008

i got my nails done last night. glossy red. *Yeay! my nails are pretty & HOT*
But, I'm pretty sure those 2 korean makcik who worked with my nails, were talking about me. they kept talking to each other and giving the 'head' gestures to one another. creepy!. *Imagine indian head dance done by 'murai' koreans*
anyways, eventho i had never learn any languages other than english, malay and chinese (i only learn one word tho, chibai :P), i had this instinct that i was their verbal victim that night. (verbal victim? that sounds brutal or aggressively abused. exaggeration makes a whole lot of sense, nowadays!) By the rate of their lips movement, i would say.. they were complaining about my partially buffed nails, my super cool pants and my messy hair (i got blown by the nasty wind alrite!)

As i about to leave the mall, i heard people screaming a very familiar name... ANNE! ANNE! ANNE! *I was thrilled till i almost dropped my mobile. strucked by d almighty thunder. frozen by the damn seconds.*
I could feel it, it was my moment. now or never.
i twisted my body like a super hot lingerie model, pumped my lips, twitched my eyes a little and pulled a damn sexy smile.(i know.. this might sound LAME, but i'm bored. bare with it. ). i then walked straight down to them, with high confidence, shaking my hair in slow motion*Shake2 to the left, shake2 to the right* and greeting them in a to-die-for tone.

anyways, i had a great nite. thnx 4 inviting me in.
got to go! Dennys time~!! woohoo

hello 2008 !

"Sometimes when things don't go your way, you just have to surrender to destiny. But sometimes, you can change it. "

first day of school, first class of new semester, first 10 minutes of the engineering course 2008
the first assignment was presented in front of our eyes. both front and back were 75% covered in black inks. words were typed neatly in Times New Roman font. submission date was underlined and the cases were a bit exaggerated. The prize was attractive yet beyond our reach. It was designing task!!!
I dont know how other felt but i just couldnt wait to start!
designing or inventing smthing new is indeed more exciting than the stupid calculations on mechanics of materials nor fluids. Now i can see my purpose of life much clearer- to design and to come out with a whole brand new idea!!! to earn millionz of dollars for brilliant thinking and become popular like a superstar! :)

28/2/08

Black T-shirt

i thought i was normal until i got caught during the TPE petronas camp in PD few weeks ago.
They suggest me to go to a rehab as my addiction has become worse.
I told them i'm alright. I'm healthy. I'm stable.
Unfortunately, My words aren't strong enough to penetrate through their ears.
They can't be heard. They are like lulluby during the day.
My actions are their solid proofs.

Being denial is the same as inviting more lions into a trapped cage
Danger awaits..

Finally i admit
i'm addicted to it
I can't live without it
I seem to wanting more and more everyday

My precious...
My precious...
your smelly black t-shirt :P
p/s: it's ok if u got no clue. Only those who have been in my room know wot i mean.

"An addiction can be cured but it takes more time than mending a broken heart and healing a serious disease. "